Friday, May 9, 2008

Smells Like an Old Fart

Remember, don't judge a book by it's cover, or in this case, a blog by it's title. I happen to be an Old Fart. Let me be more specific - I belong to the Old Farts Racing Team. You don't actually have to be an "old fart" to join, you just gotta like bench racing, drag racing, old cars, cruising, barbecue, or any combination of them.

I guess if I'm an Old Fart I could call my blogs farticles, or fartlogs, or ... oh nevermind, but that does get me thinking. I once heard a fart is a backwards sneeze. (Be sure to cover your "mouth", you don't want to spread that cold!) Ever smell one of those diesels converted to run on deep fryer oil? Smells like french fries. I wonder if you used bean oil if it would smell like farts? Add a back fire or two and you would have a mechanical recreation of flatus (farting).

Think farts aren't powerful? Check this out: Intestinal gas is made up of oxygen, nitrogen, hydrogen, carbon dioxide, hydrogen sulfide, ammonia, and methane. Holy crap! Feed me some beans and plop my ass on the intake manifold! More interesting info: The foul smell usually is caused by small traces of gases such as hydrogen sulfide, ammonia, and methane. All people pass gas, some folks more than others. It is normal to pass gas from 6 to 20 times per day. (!) Jeez, we are our own bio-fuel plant. Let's bottle some of that crap! No pun intended...

I'll never forget the first time I heard the term "old fart". I went to see the movie Hooper, starring Burt Reynolds and Jan Michael Vincent. There is this scene where Jan Michael is sitting on a picnic table with this huge pyramid of beer cans behind him. This old sheriff comes rambling up to him and asks him if he drank all that beer by himself. Some words are exchanged and Jan Michael ends up saying to the sheriff "You old fart". I about rolled out of my seat in laughter.

Yet another movie where they trashed a Trans Am. I believe it was a '77? I was a sucker for all those movies, including Smokey and the Bandit. How many Trans Ams got trashed in that movie? Too many, that's for sure.

Who can forget Buford T. Justice?

I have gotten way off the subject. Time to return to smellville, fartland, the cheese factory, eggtropolis, sulfer city, toot town, Red Butte Utah, brown town USA, flapping cheeks farm, and last but not least, the thunder from down under! Now I know that Old Farts is a funny name for a race team, but it definitely gets attention. Besides, they help put on cool shows like Show and Go. (see below) Speaking of Show and Go, it was GREAT this year. For those of you that didn't go, you should check it out next year. I took quite a few photos at the event and will be posting some soon. Stay tuned...

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