Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Ode to Jean Jennings

I am a veracious reader. I love almost anything automotive related, including repair manuals! Ok, maybe that's a stretch, but I do enjoy a good wiring diagram now and then. Just like most gear heads, I have my favorite mags, which for the purpose of this article will remain nameless. Suffice to say they are both popular and hot, and if that's not giving away the farm your beyond help and probably never won a game of Clue either. Also like most folks, I enjoy a good read, especially if its in a magazine. In the sea of never ending publications, there is one that stands out among it's peers. The magazine I'm talking about is none other then Automobile.

I'm not like most readers because I also read the masthead just to keep up to date on things (Gavin what's-his-name from across-the-pond never even made it on there, did he?), and I immediately chuck the blow-in cards, but I do think Automobile Magazine is quite possibly the worlds most perfect automotive publication. That's right, The World. Before you go spraying milk through your nose, let me explain why by pointing out the highlights

First and foremost, Jean Jennings column, Vile Gossip, is in the back of the magazine, which is perfect because that is how I read magazines - back to front. Jean is the President and Editor-in-Chief, but should also have titles like Czar, Her Majesty the Queen, Industry Leader Emeritus, and Fortune Teller. Hell, let's make her President and CEO of Chrysler also. She owns a Fiat, doesn't she? Next up is Dave Kinney and his always excellent column, Auctions. One word: Awesome! I figure that I'll never be able to attend a car auction so this is the next best thing. I did watch an auction live on cable once, and to me it was the automotive equivalent of the Playboy Channel; all perfect bodies, lots of bright colors and lights, and it left me wanting more. And just like Playboy, it's not good for the marriage either.

After I'm through salivating on the auction pages, Collectible Classic usually clears my head by making me feel sorry for myself. This is a common occurrence for someone like me who has owned over 100 automobiles. (I knew I shouldn't have sold that AMC Pacer!) The ever entertaining Ezra Dyer is next, with Dyer Consequences. I just love reading his articles. It was through them that I discovered that he does not have a garage. To me this is the equivalent of masculinity genocide. This must be remedied immediately. I will be the first to contribute to the Ezra Dyer Garage Fund. Who else is with me?

When you're flying high, why come down? Up next is Noise, Vibration & Harshness, or NVH. What more can be said about New York Bureau Chief Jamie Kitman? NVH is Jamie Kitman. I love his noise, the vibration it causes, and the harshness that always follows. Readers response columns exist because of writers like him. The final highlight is By Design, by Robert Cumberford. Mr. Cumberford reminds me of my Grandfather, who was a master wood worker. Instead of wood, Cumberford uses steel, by way of paper and pencil. (or computer, pick your poison) Like my Grandfather would look at a piece of furniture and evaluate it, so does Cumberford with an automobile. Plain and simple, they are master craftsmen who are masters in their field, all of them.

So why all the fuss over Automobile Magazine? Am I a paid blogger? (no) A part-time contributing writer? (I wish) Jean Jennings west coast cyber stalker? (the jury's still out on that one) LOL JK, for all you texting fanatics. Honestly, if you really feel strongly about something, you should write about it. You should also inform the person in charge, because they don't always see or hear what us little guys, or gals, have to say. And with that I think I have said enough.